“The Land of Immigrants”
America is a superpower that dominates the world in nearly all aspects, be it military, technological or economic. However, this country’s best asset, and the basis of all its other advantages, lies in the quality of its higher education system and its welcoming, tolerant and open environments that have long attracted the “cream of the crop” from around the world to come, live and learn here.
But sadly, this trend is slowly changing. In the aftermath of 9/11, America became increasingly suspicious of the world and tried to regain its security by re-evaluating many of its policies, most notably with regards to immigration. The open and welcoming environment was replaced with several new laws and regulations that made it far more difficult to come to the “Land of Immigrants,” even just as a student.
For example, to come to the university I studied at as an international student, you need to show an amount of around $24,000 on your bank account when applying for a visa.
The process of acquiring a visa varies in difficulty, depending on the country you are coming from, but there is never a guarantee that one will be made available. Once you are here you need to be a full-time student (take at least 12 credits) for two consecutive semesters. Your tuition is three times that of an in-state student’s, and employment is restricted to on-campus jobs, with a cap of 20 hours. Scholarship opportunities are also very limited.
Assuming you survive all of this, it still does not relieve you of the difficult, expensive and time-consuming process of trying to stay here after you graduate. All of these state and federal regulations make it extremely difficult to secure a livelihood, because of security risks from 9/11.
So what will be the long-term adverse effects of these changes? They will cause a chain reaction, and the number of immigrants and foreign students willing to come study, particularly those who wish to remain in the country after graduation, will fall. The loss of this intellectual human capital will slowly reflect on all other aspects of the country’s success. The “cream of the crop” will either attain their education elsewhere, or acquire it here and take it back to utilize in their home country.
It’s understandable that this is a complex issue involving many dimensions and there is no simple solution to the problem, but the international arena is changing and the U.S. needs to evaluate the direction it is heading if it wants to stay ahead of the game.
As Fareed Zakaria, the host of CNN, editor of Newsweek International and an immigrant himself, explained in his New York Times best-seller The Post-American World:
“For America to thrive in this new and challenging era, for it to succeed amid the rise of the rest, it need fulfill only one test. It should be a place that is as inviting and exciting to the young student who enters the country today as it was for this awkward eighteen-year-old a generation ago.”
It took me most of my dating life to realized this…
You know how when you meet someone and you really like each other and you come home after a date and can’t wait to just lye in your bed and think about the person?
And when you get that weird feeling in your stomach right before you are about to see them?
They occupy your mind 24/7, it’s all you can think or talk about… ah… it’s awesome! And you feel love in the air… But we all know that the butterflies don’t last for ever. They seem to have an expiration date around the two-three month mark…
Well for the longest time I thought this meant that the feeling was gone and hence the relationship should end…
But as I got older I started to see a pattern… I could not possibly realize it wasn’t meant to be with every guy at around the same time… And the feelings I had from beginning to end were also similar from relationship to relationship…
I also started wondering what was beyond that three month mark… So once when I reached the end of another three month relationship and we broke up, I decided to explore the vast unknown territory and got back with him… That is when I realized:
You know the cycle of a caterpillar that then turns into a butterfly? well in relationships its kind of the opposite.
You start off with the Butterfly effect:
In the beginning of a relationship everything is light and fluttery and beautiful… and short lived, just like a butterfly. This part of the relationship is exciting, fast paced there is always something to talk about, always something to do.
This is the time when you can spend hours talking on the phone every night without getting bored, or stare into each others eyes with no need for words… This is the time when you walk around with a dumb dazed look and constant smile on your face and you laugh out loud during weird times because something reminded you of that cute thing he/she did the other night…
But the butterfly lives a short life… and without fail, your butterfly phase will come to an end. THis is due to a few very logical reasons:
1. You have covered all the basics information on the person you are with.
2. you have established that you like each other so the thrill of not knowing is gone.
3. You are more comfortable with each other, so the awkwardness is gone… which is a big contributer to the excitement in the beginning of the relationship.
4. people put the best versions of themselves out there when they first meet someone… but after a while the mask starts coming off and you see them for what they really are… a human being with flaws.
There is no EXACT expiration date for the butterfly phase.. it varies from person to person and relationship to relationship… Sometimes one of you reaches the end of the phase before the other… sometimes it happens simultaneously for both.
And sometimes the end of this phase really means that you guys are not meant to be… But in order to know for sure and to not miss out on a potentially great relationship, You need to toughen up and transfer into the caterpillar phase:
This is the phase where things slow down.. slug along… but last longer, like a caterpillar. This is where the real relationship begins. This is where you start getting to know what the person is really about… Real love, real understanding, real commitment comes in the caterpillar phase.
So next time you feel the butterflies are flying away… think twice before you pull the plug. That butterfly could be days a way from morphing into a wonderful caterpillar…
Language of love
GUYS:
1. You get into an argument. Your lady starts getting crazy and telling you to get out and never come back. DON’T. (she is playing the princess in the castle that is waiting for her prince to save her from the fire breathing dragon. Only thing is SHE plays the dragon as well. Once you fight through it, your princess will be waiting with open arms on the other side).
2. Your lady comes to you and is talking a mile an hour about something that upset her at work, or a problem she is having with a friend. You take this as a request to put your “fix it” cap on and solve her problem. STOP (unless she specifically directly asks for advice or solutions she just wants to rant…chances are she will come up with the solution on her own while she talks, or she just needed to blow off some steam. and you will be surprised to learn that you can still maintain your “superman” status by just listening).
LADIES:
1. when your man tells you he needs some time alone, or seems to be withdrawing from you, you might have the urge to try and get closer, talk to them, figure out what’s wrong… DON’T (guys sometimes just need there alone time… let them have it, odds are they will come running back within a few hours).
2. If your man did something wrong and you are punishing him with the silent treatment, but he doesn’t seem to get why he is in trouble… TALK (guys can’t read our minds… you need to say what is bothering you, or you might never get the apology you want).
to be continued…
There has been an obsession with designer brands that has swept the world. People are willing to give up their month’s salery for a pair of shoes, because of a name.
I know there is a reason it’s not a good idea to buy shoes at Walmart because it’s very likely they will fall apart by the time you get home. Paying a little more for better quality is a sensible thing to do. But unless you poop money or the hat is made from magic materials that make you invisible when you put it on… why would you pay $4900 for this?
The truth is a lot of these designer items aren’t actually worth what they cost. We just pay that much because we want to say “ya let me just get my GUCCI bag”, which, sadly is a serious confidence booster for a lot of people.
Again, this is not to say that all designer items are not worth the price, or everyone that buys anything designer is pathetic. If you can really afford it and its really what you like, then power to ya! I am talking about the average woman that will go for a month eating nothing but Top Roman so she can save up for the latest trendy scarf.
Let me demonstrate my point in a few ways:
1. The quality isn’t always what they make it to be.
My friend met a guy who fixes luggage for a living. He was the ultimate expert, knew anything and everything there was to know about suitcases. He said that the worst luggage is made with metal frames and corner metal zippers.
When handled in airports if the metal frame bends it can’t be fixed and the zippers need to completely be replaced if you loose even a tooth, which is very common if the zipper starts on the corner as that is the first part that gets hit when throwing the suitcase into a plane.
Guess what famous brand that is most well known for their luggage has all these flaws? Yup, you guessed it, Louis Vuitton.
2. How the hell do you justify paying $1300 for these pants??
3. Not everything designer looks good!
I really feel bad for people that just open a magazine and religiously obsess over the latest trends… because even thought these designers became famous for their talents and ability to come up with new styles and that some runway looks are meant to be viewed as art, but that aside… not everything they come up with is that great and not everything they design should be worn!
Sometimes I feel all these famous designers get together and have a contest for the most ridiculous thing they can come up with just to see if the mobs will buy it and turn it into a fashion sensation….
Anyway, back to the point: Most of these designer items are not expensive because they are that great, When you pay $2000 for a purse, you are really paying for the D&G tag and you have to stop and ask yourself: is it worth it?
I really believe that great style and being fashion forward is knowing your body, what looks good on it and knowing how to dress it without having to live in a box. So next time you are about to pay up your nose for something, make sure you are doing it for a legit reason, not just for the brand.
Dark Circles
Here are a few do’s and don’ts for dark under eye circles:
- Drink 8-10 glasses of water every day
- Get 7-8 hours of sleep
- Wear sunglasses or sunscreen when in the sun
- Don’t smoke or drink alcohol
- apply lemon juice under the eye for ten minutes then remove with a cold washcloth
- lie on your back and put two cold tea bags (black or green) on your eyes for 5-10 minutes
- apply cucumber juice or two cucumber slices on your eyes for 5-10 minutes
- apply potato juice or two slices of potatoes to eyes for 5-10 minutes
Another tip: I just saw this on “The Doctors”, for puffy eyes dip some cotton swabs in water and freeze them. Then gently swab the puffy eye as if you are trying to squeeze it out starting from the inside of the eye out.
The Nice Really Finish Last
Have you ever loved someone so much that you were ready to do anything for them… But it seemed like the more you did, the less they gave a damn? Well you’re not alone…
I don’t know how it works after marrige… but at least while we are out dating there is one rule of thumb that I’m confident qualifies for 99% of all relationships: no one likes to be smothered.
Let me elaborate: See human beings are selfish creatures. We are also easily corrupted and have a tendency of taking things for granted, especially when we are in a position of power.
If you have heard of the famous quote by Lord Acton “Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely”, it doesn’t only apply to politics, it applies to relationships as well.
If you love someone and your way of showing it is doing everything for that person, chances are they will catch on and start abusing that power.
See you do it because you think if you do everything they ask, they will like you more, and logically if you treat someone well, they will return the favor, but it doesn’t usually work that way.
Because they will start feeling that no matter what they do, you will still stick around. So they start testing the limit. The sad thing is the more they gain power and take you for granted, the more you cling on and do everything they say. And the more you do everything for them, the more they abuse their power and the more they lose interest in you, because, as I said, no one likes to be smothered.
The weird thing is people don’t usually like having this power! Even though they will abuse it and push the limit if you let them, doesn’t mean they enjoy it.
So next time you find yourself in a relationship where you seem to be the nice one that always apologizes firsts, always seems to be wrong, always seems to do what your significant other says without really getting anything in return, stop! And realize that this is not the way to keep someone you like or love around!
Chances are you will be left for a stuck up girl or a manipulative bad boy one of these days… Hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game. It’s just how it works. Just like you get tired of playing a game you are too good at and win all the time, you get bored of a relationship that you always have the upper hand in.
The Economics of “Love”
The other day I realize that a lot of relationship stuff can easily be explained using simple market economic principles like supply, demand and price fluctuations..
For example, the “Market for boys”: A boy high in demand is like that popular new item in stores that all the cool girls have so, naturally, you need to have it too…
So, the more girlfriends a guy has had… the more “popular” he gets on the Market. The more he is seen with the girls around, the more his demand goes up. Because, as we all know, girls seem to have to have that new “it” thing, whatever it may be.
The same principle can be applied to the “Girl’s Market”: the only difference is, guys like new, shiny things, not old or used ones. Things that many want, but few can have…
So, just like a new car loses 
its value the moment u drive it off the lot, the harder to get a girl is and the less actual relationships she has had, the higher her price is on the “market”.
To be continued…
Skinny jeans
Skinny jeans took the fashion world by storm a few years back… they say the style is slowly fading… but when I look around, that’s all anyone seems to be wearing these days… irregardless of their weight and proportions.
I know we’ve gotten so used to seeing everyone wearing them that we stopped noticing, but skinny jeans don’t look good on everyone! actually… they only really look good on a very specific type of body:
- generally speaking, for skinny jeans to look good: you can’t have short legs, need to be significantly skinny, have straight legs, not be very curvy, not have a big butt, or thighs.
Big Foreheads
You know how we struggle to chose what sort of haircut will complement our face? well if you have a big forehead, your job just got a LOT easier: GET BANGS! straight, side-swept, short, long… the choice is yours, just don’t pull your hair back or chose a hairstyle that exposes your forehead.
why? well this is kind of a no-brainer… big foreheads aren’t very attractive. Also people with big foreheads usually have smaller faces and having bangs brings in the focus on your facial features instead of your forehead.
This is not to say that having a big forehead makes you ugly or unattractive, it’s just that if you want to look your best, you should get bangs.
Most of us don’t have perfect, even toned skin… but the solution might be much cheaper and easier than you think: applying lemon juice to your face can visibly clear your acne and blemishes, reduce visibility of scars, and even your skin tone in as little as few weeks. Just squeeze some lemon juice into a container, use a cotton ball to apply to clean face and leave overnight (warning it may sting a lot for the first few minutes, but the results are worth the pain).
The acid in lemon juice breaks down the main acne causing bacteria, the acid’s lightening effect reduces appearance of scars, blemishes and even pores. It’s amazing people just try it!
